Hunt Saboteurs
We've had people trapped in houses, people trapped on islands, biggest losers, crappest dancers and honey I can't control the kids. How can reality TV possibly top that?
Why, with Fat Teens Can't Hunt, of course!
Yes, coming soon to a UK television near you, torpid teens will be dropped off in the Australian Outback and forced to survive solely on what they can catch. And - presuming actually chasing the food is out of the question - they'll be instructed in the use of traditional Aboriginal hunting methods to stave off starvation. What could be better when it comes to entertaining Fat Bastards Who Can't Hunt for the Remote?
Well, almost anything, it seems.
The papers have had a field day with the news of plans to film this entertainment extravaganza over here. For some reason, no-one's buying the claims of the producers that the show that:
Why, with Fat Teens Can't Hunt, of course!
Yes, coming soon to a UK television near you, torpid teens will be dropped off in the Australian Outback and forced to survive solely on what they can catch. And - presuming actually chasing the food is out of the question - they'll be instructed in the use of traditional Aboriginal hunting methods to stave off starvation. What could be better when it comes to entertaining Fat Bastards Who Can't Hunt for the Remote?
Well, almost anything, it seems.
The papers have had a field day with the news of plans to film this entertainment extravaganza over here. For some reason, no-one's buying the claims of the producers that the show that:
' ... it would be an educational documentary that was a genuine attempt at tackling Britain's obesity crisis.'
The West Australian, 09/05/07
Which would seem to suggest that easing the critical mass of the critically massive in the UK means shipping them all over here and dumping them in the desert. No wonder there's been such outrage:
'This concept of big fat white boys and girls being dropped out in the Aboriginal community to survive is insulting and sounds like a freak show.'Ibid.
So says indigenous leader Warren Mundine, who also accused TV company Cheetah Television of 'exploiting the Aboriginal tradition for cheap entertainment'. Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the RSPCA has declared that 'animals would almost certainly suffer during filming'.
WA's Environment Minister David Templeman has come out fighting, vowing to refuse permission for the series to be shot in WA. He too appears to have a very clear idea about the pecking order of what he's protecting with this decision:
'The concept is abhorrent and one of the worst examples of gutter television I have come across. It exploits our wildlife and our environment, not to mention the children involved.'Ibid.
Oh! The children!
Well, we got there in the end.
3 Comments:
I fucking hate most kids in the UK today. They are pandered too at every corner, have no sense of earning respect or learning self discipline.
So they take 10 fat kids and teach them to live on the land .. yeah, that will solve the problem - what about the other 2 or 3 million that hang around outside Spar in hoodies abusing the adults?
Chuck the fat fuckers in the sea and see who floats and who gets picked off by sharks - now thats a show I'd watch.
I think that one's already in development, actually.
ha! ha! ha!
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