Conclusive Proof: Toymakers Hate Kids

Picture the scene: it's Christmas morning, and the children bounce from their beds, finally unleashing excitement that's been pent up inside since the shops started putting up their festive displays (August).

They're barely able to control their shaking, faces aglow as they tear at the wrapping paper to see the toys they've wanted for oh-so-very-long. Delerious with happiness, they open the boxes, desperate to play ...

And have to wait a further four hours while their parents untwist all those sodding bits of wire that fix the toy to the packaging.

It's a mistake I made a couple of years ago - since then I open up all the boxes before wrapping the presents and remove all the pleasure-killing twist-ties ahead of time. Which is what I got up to this afternoon.

Here's what I got off ONE TOY:



Now I sit typing this with bloodied fingertips, muttering darkly. Because, you see, once I finished all that untwirling, I plaited all the ties together into one long, wire loop. I'm saving it, in the event I ever meet one of the manufacturers. And then ...

Ho ho ho.