Come On, Baby, Light My Ear

After reading an article in the paper, my wife's been dabbling in ear candling, a technique that sucks the wax out of your ear by way of ... well, sticking a lit candle in it.


Of course it's a special kind of candle (you can't just pinch one off the top of your kid's birthday cake), and opinions vary as to its effectiveness or lack thereof. But she had a go yesterday and today, apparently, it was my turn.

It's not unpleasant, as experiences go, the burning of the cloth tube akin to listening to someone trying to tune in a radio on low volume. It was the preparation that threw me for a loop ...

Three to four hours before the event, the instructions stated that the ear canal should be treated with a drop of garlic oil (helpfully provided in the kit). Seems this softens hard wax, as well as having antiseptic properties. So there I lay, nice and still, while the essence was decanted into my earhole.

I let it soak for a while, then sat up for the other side to be done -

- and the oil ran straight out and down my neck.

Which is why half an hour later I was getting quizzical looks from the not-unattractive young woman in the toy shop where I was picking up my son's birthday presents. She didn't say anything, but I could see it in her eyes. The question.

'Why does he smell like a Chicken Kiev?'

So then, ear candling - it may or may not clean your passages but it does give a man his mystery back.